quiet. of sorts.

March 9th, 2010 dosepoet

so lately i have been out of sorts.. we all know this.. slowly i am getting things figured out, i’d like to think.. along the way i am helping someone else figure things out long over due as well… and i think together, we will make it.  atleast we are trying.  and willing.  and our love is strong.   strong.  i haven’t  been able to write lately.. i am hoping tofind words again soon… douglas has started writing again.. amazing poems for me.  thanks baby.  i know things are far from perfect right now, in a lot of ways.. but i hold faith that soon everything will be … normal again.  whatever normal is… i love you, douglas.

drean
drean2

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they smile!

March 3rd, 2010 dosepoet

a quick update.. the boys are doing terrific… staying awake a lot..telling lots of stories and smiling so much :)  it’s amazing.. they are liking their toys and are now big enough to sit in their bumbo seats…

meleia is still busy as ever and loving school… she still plays dress up every chance she gets, as my pictures will show… and has been going on a lot of play dates lately that she loves..

busy, busy around here for douglas and i still… but we are still pulling through :)    he had his birthday a few days after valentines day… meleia made him the best card ever :)  and he got a lot of nice gifts and cash!   love you baby.

mr. handsome man cade…
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goofy mr. collin
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happy babies…
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and mad babies… :)
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meleia (im)patiently waiting for her nails to dry
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and here she is in all her glory getting to dress herself.. crazy kid.
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doulgas’ many cards for his birthday, along with the awesome pen and business card holder his aunt and uncle sent… can you tell which one is from meleia ;) she spent an hour painting this thing!
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dosepoet

our home…

February 19th, 2010 dosepoet

i’ve been wanting to do a post of our new house so badly and finally i’ve found the time to take the pictures and edit them… douglas worked very hard to get this home ready for us.  we are very proud to be able to live here with our family…  it is beautiful.. amazing.. and has a lot of space beings we have two of everything now!!!  keep in mind all the baby/toddler things that have to be all over  ;) 

beware.. there are a lot of pictures :)

we use the back patio door as our main entrance.. here is walking in..
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the stairs in the previous picture lead to the upstairs… my favorite ;) besides the hot tub there is an office area up there as well..
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here is walking into the kitchen from the entryway and views of the kitchen.. it is by far the largest one i’ve ever had and i LOVE having a bar area.. the door way shown goes to the basement.. which there are no pictures of because it is so chaotic down there right now.. but it is fully finished.. my laundry area is down there as well as a storage room and a huge room that right now serves as doug’s office/meleia’s playroom… but.. here is the kitchen…
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the living room is huge thank goodness because of having to have two swings and bouncy chairs! besides some of meleia’s toys too!!! mind you, we have yet to finish hanging things on one wall.. you can see them still stacked.. :)
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the spare bathroom.. or as meleia calls it.. hers.
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miss meleia’s room.. she likes to draw pictures, get tape, and hang them on her walls.. or anywhere .. haha
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on to the boys’ room… which.. obviously they don’t spend anytime in there yet.. so it doesn’t bother me that we are still waiting on the tye dye bumper pads and curtain… otherwise right now it just holds their clothes.. supplies… and is a cute work in progress.. i’d say within a couple of months they should be sleeping in there… or we can hope!
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and last but not least.. the master bed room and bath… i’ve never had my own closet before, let alone a walk in.. so i had to take a special picture of that as well :) here is another room that has the case of nothing being hung on the walls yet and the stuff is still in the corner.. lol. but.. soon.
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hope you love it as much as we do!!!

dosepoet

small update.

February 8th, 2010 dosepoet

so less than a week in between posts is pretty good, i’d say  ;)

things remain about the same around our household.. just the everyday routine we’ve come accustomed to… which soon i want to do a post showing our lovely new home.. just not enough time to go around taking pictures right now… soon though. the hot tub is working all the time now.. doug tends to use it more than me, but i sure get in every chance i get… even if for only a few minutes. it’s awesome having one inside.. that would be on benefit to buying this house.. although i really don’t think that this is the house i want to live in forever… anyways… that is a whole different story.

it’s been snowing a lot here, which causes meleia to not have school the next day.. like right now.. not supposed to stop until after we have over a foot! being so young she of course is still at the phase of wanting school, so here is her attitude towards all of this :)

feb1

collin and cade both continue to get bigger everyday!! they smile so much now and coo a lot too.. it’s really cute.. i can’t wait for another month or so when they can really being to do more..

collinfeb
cade
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my babies
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and douglas.. i miss you. i miss us. i’m tired…. you’re tired…
and it seems like a life time since there has been a moment like this…
but atleast we are still here together…

feb5

dosepoet

busy life..

February 2nd, 2010 dosepoet

so i haven’t kept up as well as promised, yet again.. but things are really hectic here, as you can imagine!!  everyone is holding strong somehow though, and we are surviving… hopefully soon michele will take some professional photos of the family, but for now here is a glance at some of what’s been going on..

cade and collin are doing great.. by now collin is over nine pounds and cade is around eight… they are starting to be awake longer, as well as sometimes sleeping longer.. they continue to be good boys and are getting to the age of being real snuggle buddies…

mr. collin
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mr. cade
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they like being together….
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meleia has been playing with her dress up trunk from christmas almost everyday still… she always has on some costume.. jewelry… high heels.. lol
a very busy girl she is.. always playing, playing, playing.. going from one thing to another.. she has picked up on so much and the things that come out of her mouth crack me up… oh this kid… couldn’t live without her..

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and she really, really loves her baby brothers.. how lucky, getting two? :)
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recently she had teddy bear week at school and did special activities with him all week.. we were to prepare a float at home for the bear to ride in and invited to watch the “teddy bear parade” mommy, daddy, danielle, and meleia worked on her float all together and it turned out so cute.. you can’t tell in the picture but the fabric is pink with skulls on it.. which matches her shirt :) and sorry… she walked so fast the picture is blurry, lol.
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after the parade there was some major teddy bear dancing going on ;)
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the same is going on with me.. lol. taking care of kids! doug and i did get out of town last weekend for the night, and it was a much needed break…. for some reason though, there are no pictures… hm… anyways.. my ocd still has not gone away so i still find myself cleaning and doing laundry constantly.. i’ve even gotten baskets and organized the junk drawers.. but i don’t complain because i love to clean.. what i don’t love, is putting away clothes.. and here is one reason why… there are four other closets that look just like this here… wayyyyyyy too many clothes…

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and daddy is the same too.. still working and working… and resting when he gets the chance :)
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hope that everyone is well and that i can update again soon :)
and i also hope that luck is getting better for everyone out there…
because i know a lot of us that need it..

dosepoet

life with twins..

January 8th, 2010 dosepoet

obviously it’s been awhile since my last post.. life with twins is definitely more than i imagined it to be!!  it’s incredible though, as much as tiring.  i think having one baby would be a piece of cake now!  douglas is a big, big help… getting up every other feeding in the night, and sometimes taking care of the whole night when he doesn’t have to work the next day.  night time is rough with twins as it takes twice as long to do everything and then by the time they are in bed again it’s only a couple of hours before getting up again.. the boys are really good babies though, which is a blessing.  collin tends to need a little more attention, but as cade is growing he is getting there as well.. both are still in perfect health and growing great…. cade is still a little peanut though  :)  meleia is an awesome big sister and helps more than i ever though possible.. it’s amazing to see how well she does with them, even at her young age.  of course the whole family loves them to pieces and stop by often.  doug continues to work at cargirl, as well as trying to work for clients on the side of this hectic household. but we manage.  we’ve got  a few helpers coming in now and i am still able to manage to keep the house as OCD clean as normal  ;)  i don’t get out of the house much, but really i don’t mind it.. doug and i have had a little time to ourselves, but the weekend after my birthday we get to get out of town for the whole night!  recently he also got the hot tub up and running so we have been taking advantage of that… christmas came and went.. we went overboard as usual and everyone got a truck load of things.. but it was terrific.  new years came and went, was nothing exciting, but atleast i was with my babies…for now that’s all of everything new in a nutshell.. i’m really going to try to update more often now… and  i’m very, very behind on pictures on here so i am going to just start posting favorites and some of the older ones can be seen at www.randomsignificance.com

collin christmas eve..
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cade christmas eve..
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meleia at her christmas program for school…
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meleia playing dress up with the items she got from family christmas drawing..
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grandma joy with cade and collin..
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meleia with all her stuff christmas morning.. spoiled!
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my beautiful green children :)
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cade and collin looking adorable!
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the cutest butts around ;)
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dosepoet

very quick update…

November 25th, 2009 dosepoet

our twins have been born :) cade theodore and collin oliver
very exciting…
being completely exhausted all i have time right now to do is give you the link to their own website :)
pretty special boys..
i will post my story and pictures soon, hopefully but for now, you can learn about them at http://www.randomsignificance.com

we are very blessed.

dosepoet

preggo belly at 30 weeks…

October 7th, 2009 dosepoet

preggo

dosepoet

it’s been a long, long time….

September 21st, 2009 dosepoet

almost two months since i have posted anything… i guess that goes to show how much this pregnancy is taking over my life… there have been many, many events in the past couple of months that have definitely been blog worthy (ultrasound photos, the in laws visiting, meleia starting school, bret michaels concert, getting a new house, jamboree, i could go on and on… ) but rarely do i even turn my computer on now days… i use douglas’s computer to check my facebook and surf around for baby items.. other than that, i’ve been very internet quiet, per se.  i am now 27.5 weeks along, so only about 9 weeks to go- since twins are considered full term at 36.  i still am dealing with the whole having twins issue, which is a given… trying to still figure out how it’s going to work out.. luckily i will have a lot of help… my dear friend mary has been helping me deal with a lot of issues, as well as getting things ready for the arrival of the boys… she is throwing me my baby shower and making awesome tie dye bedding for their cribs.. my belly is growing HUGE and i am mostly over the sickness stage, mostly.  they do leave me very, very tired all of the time though.. soon i will be on bedrest and things will change again.. names have been chosen, however i am keeping them private for now.. .we have gotten a beautiful new house that douglas has been working very hard painting every weekend so it will be perfect for us to move into.. it is sooo big and there will be plenty of room for our growing family.. :)  as well as having a spa room that i will take full advantage of every chance i get!!!  meleia started preschool, blows my mind away.. she is soo incredibly smart and beautiful it’s amazing.  everyday she learns something new and my love for her only grows stronger by the minute.  she is going to be a terrific big sister… her new thing lately is singing song after song after song and practicing ballerina moves that grandma pat taught her.. she has also learned the price of toys and recently has starting asking daddy for “forty dollars for a ki lan doll”  it’s been quite comical.   douglas parents came to visit for three days.. we had a very good time with them and it seems it went to fast… we packed a lot of events into the few short days we had and i am incredibly lucky to have met them.. everyone here loved them and they felt the same.. and the best of all– they told us our present for the babies– a years supply of diapers!!! by far the most amazing and practical thing someone could give us… michele white- our amazing photographer friend- has also opted to give us a free maternity shoot, as well as their new born pictures.. i consider myself very lucky to have all of these special things going on in my life… i will try to update more often, but as we all know, the more time passes, the harder things will be!  wish us luck!  here are a few new pictures…

meleia’s first day of school
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the hottub in our spa room :)
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eating at the resort with doug’s parents…
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meleia found my lipstick!!
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dosepoet

the results are in…

July 24th, 2009 dosepoet

boys

this is a complete shock (as most of this pretty much as been) to everyone… no one expected me to get two girls like i had hoped, but atleast one of each… as of today.. the ultrasound showed, clearly, two boys… i am soooo… upset. i cried.. and cried again. what will i do with two boys?? i won’t have any idea.. i am so scared.. poor meleia even thought it was one of each and i am sad for her because she won’t have anyone to play dolls with.. lol. obviously this has made me very emotional. i am so girly.. and so is meleia.. how will i deal with frogs and mud? little penis’s? just boy stuff… i know it all sounds petty.. which it is, i know a lot is hormones and still being scared in general.. i know that i will be happy as long as they are both healthy… just very apprehensive at the moment.. name wise, i have no idea really.. it’s really up in the air at this point.. as is everything!! here are two new pictures… at about nineteen weeks..

baby a’s thigh leg and thigh bone…
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side view of baby b’s head and face…
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since they are bigger now and so tight in my stomach it’s hard to get good pictures of them, or even all of one of them it seems.. :)

pray for me!!!

dosepoet

oh how she makes me smile…

July 23rd, 2009 dosepoet

smile1

smile2

dosepoet

hormones, really…

July 23rd, 2009 dosepoet

i love you.
i honestly do.

it seems like i don’t know how to show it anymore.
hormones have had a crazy effect on me this time.

i feel sad. a lot.
i feel jealous.
scared.
upset.
angry.
paranoid.

i don’t know how this came about.
why this is what is happening.
i was never having any children.
let alone three.
i am in shock as well.
i know that’s part of what’s going on with me.

i know how happy you are.
how excited and optimistic you are.
how i wish i were like you.
i am so worried.
you don’t have any idea.

things are so messed up right now in my head.
everything is so real.
and so…
right in my face.
that i have to back off.
i have to scream.
i have to be mad.
because i can’t face this.
i am not ready to.
i’m too scared.

and i’m sure this explains nothing.
at most.
but maybe it will help some.

just by saying i love you.
and i’m not sure if you still love me, i guess.

dosepoet