my flowers from valentines day are dying.
dead roses always make me sad.
doesn’t matter what it is i guess.. i can’t fight this sadness.
this heaviness.
i was backed against a wall today.
by no one but myself..
and i cried.. for a long time..
into my wet, shiny hair.
i have so much inspiration around me.. my wonderful poet, my incredible meleia, michele’s photos, my family.. just so so much. yet i still remain mute. almost unable to even gather enough written words to even make sense.. i’m at a loss and in fact, i don’t like it at all…
Today would have been Kurt Cobain’s 42nd birthday. I’ve always wanted to visit his grave.. Washington is such a beautiful place.. sigh. Self inflicted gun shot wound.. Still all the stories, the rumors.. etc. I remember. I remember Courtney Love reading his suicide note aloud.. A brilliant, brilliant man. Earth shattering words, right down to his last ones written. How I awe those who can express everything so clearly, so beautifully… (including my poet) Of course..
“I’m so ugly, but that’s okay, ’cause so are you …” An unfortunate death.

sigh
I don’t know where to turn.
I have it all in the palm of my hand..
and I can’t stop the tears.
Let’s go to bed and sleep forever??
do you want more roses?
<3