i want to come back
back to you
to meleia
to our life

i want out of this
i want to rewind
when we had time
we need time

god we need time

please think hard
know nothing will change
and we have forever
to make what we want
no rush

remember when you’d rather have me
wouldn’t you rather have me back?

all my days are spent
not knowing
how you feel
insecure
you never tell me it’s okay
what if you find me lying on the floor
i just want a distant
it’s okay
or a small squeeze
meaning the same thing

that you are here
you will stay
you stand by

it’s early morning
and i see in your face
it’s mid day
and i still see in your face
i try and try and try
and you never
you never tell
you never speak

and it hurts
and i feel like shit

just speak

damnit just speak

i found my never ending story
my fairy tale land
i truly want to give him
everything
take his hand
heal all wounds
show him all i can

we have no one but each other
and it’s okay
i’m not scared
we always make it through
another

and another

meltdown
or bright sunny day
he’s never leaving me
is what he has to say

i’ll give him his way
yeah one day
just like that month of may
that month i saved his
worn out, lost soul
and i’ve been repaid
maybe twice
with him taking the toll

he gives me his all
his world, he let’s me hold it
his hopes, dreams
in my shaky hands
so i give him my heart
beating
bleeding
always
i owe him that

he is all i know
one day you’ll understand
there’s never been another
to believe in me
in us
like him
there’s never been another
to make me feel what he does
god he does
so much
he’s all i want to know
one day he’ll understand

it’ll always be us
it’ll always be him

without my day and night
i’d be nothing
will he run away
will he stray
will he love me as much as today
as yesterday

i’ll always be the same girl
the same pale
the same crazy beautiful
the same one who tastes so good
the same one who saved him

i’ll never run away
i’ll be ready one day
he promises me everything
he gives me all
and one day
everything will be how it’s supposed to be

we’ll still be that couple that
everyone is jealous of
that couple everyone knows is so in love
so stuck on each other
and i know he can be strong
and i know i can be strong
and i know we can make it

we won’t let us break
ever
even if it’s too much to take
we have our nights
our dreams
our silent naked smooth
whispers
and we both need it

crave it

forever

yes we need this.

you tell me it’s okay
you say i’m your only
you tell me she lies
she’s wrong
there are no ties

and oh
i try to believe so

if you want to go
i’m not holding you back
it’s impossible
so you must want to stay
but baby we don’t have much room
for any mistakes

this isn’t easy
ya we both know
but i’m dreaming
of a field of truths
no matter how bitter
the air might be
the sky might sound

you know i’m standing
fragile
open
all for you
don’t make me a fool
no i deserve more

you know we love so hard
so long
so fast
it leaves scars
you melt my intensity
and drink the liquid rush
why should she care so much

if you weren’t true
weren’t real
why would our life
be so beautiful
oh but how does she know
why does she know
why can’t she just go
let her go
let her go

why can’t it just be me and you
saving each other
through and through
and true
you know how amazing it will be
the continuation of this
journey of discovery

oh how i love you.

torn and tattered
black and bitter
cold and closed
on the inside
loved and loving
smiles and sunshine
hopes and happiness
from my everything, everyone
on the outside

but after a multiplicity
of events
sometimes there is nothing left
in my mind
that is
oh how i’d like
to draw some new
so bright on my pale
but there’s no where to hide
you see me from every view
and sometimes i think
i’m fading fast
just grasping on to that
feeling it might not last

ya i don’t know who i am
i barely even know
where i’ve been
but i’ve been there
and back
and not much has changed
just rearranged
into different shapes
different angles
different ways
but still the same

i’d guess
but maybe not
maybe i’m more alive
than i feel
maybe the outside is real
so ridding the inside
it’s such a hard task
there’s no defeating
that shiny and new
i still dream
of those candy coated razor blades
dripping honey and lemonade
the bright bliss
trickling down
the smile hiding the frown
that past that couldn’t last

and well, i’ve already got him now, mine
give it up

i’m trapped on the outside
looking in
i always am
i hide up high
i hear my spoken words echo
as they hit the ground
slamming
bouncing off those you
might not have meant to say to me
and i see myself in your eyes
what a surprise
i don’t even recognize
oh baby help my find myself
swallow me whole and spit out the bad
find what’s gone wrong
cause you know somewhere
something
did
and baby bring me back down
to life
to level
so i can be in myself instead of above
cause oh how i want to feel
and not just act
you know i’d melt my cell bars
into a pool of black sins
if i were strong enough to swim across
why do i gotta fly so high
so low
crash and die
sleep forever
and i’d scratch the walls
until my fingers bleed
but it’d only reflect
all those wrongful things said
all those thin lines
i tend to try to cross
more often than not
but not on purpose
i’m only outside looking in