i realize often when i’m alone at night, when meleia is asleep and douglas is at work… how lucky i really am. we have an amazing daughter.. truly amazing. we don’t have to share her, we are her parents… and douglas takes on the role of her father more and more everyday.. lately i’ve been getting a complete break for an hour before he goes to work so i can watch my “show” 
he takes her to do things when i am not feeling well… he allows her to do things that mommy won’t.. and he has stolen her heart.. i sing ” my girl, my girl, talking about myyyy girl” to her often.. it’s now changed by her to ” my girl, my girl, talking doses girrrrrl” she has become attached. i never thought it would happen. i never thought i’d chance any man hurting her again after her biological dad turned out the way he did.. but here we are, i took the chance, and i’m having luck for once..
douglas is accepting me.. and my crazy hormones.. he is trying his best to understand what i am going through and he rarely gets upset with my actions.. i know i am acting out of control at times, but… hello.. two babies?? he works so much at cargil, but still manages to get things done that need taken care of around that house that i can’t do… as well as still catering to my cravings, needs, anything…
he writes for me still.. daily. how amazing is that.. it really can make me in a better mood when i see what he has come up with next… check him out here… and although his staying up so late at night can bug me at times… atleast i know that he will be able to do it with the babies!!!
speaking of which.. i know that he is going to do everything possible to make sure that out life remains as perfect as it is now, even when the babies arrive. we both know this is not going to be easy.. but as he has said, our love is really strong.. and seems capable of surviving anything.. with that on our side, everything has to be okay.. i know how difficult this is going to be.. i know how wore out and tired i will become.. i know how much extra work it’s going to require… jumping from a three person family to a five is quite the change.. anyone would be scared… but we can do it.. atleast i’m an organized person i guess.. lol
basically i just wanted my douglas to know how much i greatly appreciate everything he is doing for me right now.. there is no way i would be standing without him…
i love you baby.. so so much.
There is not one day that goes by that I don’t think of how blessed I truly am to have you, Meleia and your family.
forever.
d