i used to create patterns
with those crazy
candy coated razor blades
sugar ball gum drop
lick another lollipop
a restless trance
a reckless path
something that couldn’t last
and that was the past
but who’s to say what’s different now
the lines are still there
so carefully drew
they still bleed you know
if only for me to see
torn and tattered
black and bitter
cold and closed
on the inside
loved and loving
smiles and sunshine
hopes and happiness
from my everything, everyone
on the outside
but after a multiplicity
of events
sometimes there is nothing left
in my mind
that is
oh how i’d like
to draw some new
so bright on my pale
but there’s no where to hide
you see me from every view
and sometimes i think
i’m fading fast
just grasping on to that
feeling it might not last
ya i don’t know who i am
i barely even know
where i’ve been
but i’ve been there
and back
and not much has changed
just rearranged
into different shapes
different angles
different ways
but still the same
i’d guess
but maybe not
maybe i’m more alive
than i feel
maybe the outside is real
so ridding the inside
it’s such a hard task
there’s no defeating
that shiny and new
i still dream
of those candy coated razor blades
dripping honey and lemonade
the bright bliss
trickling down
the smile hiding the frown
that past that couldn’t last